Online Dating & Personal Sites Reviews, Dating Tips, & More
Author: admin // Category: Relationships
Each respective single will parade before you like a virtual line up of potential friends, mates, or lovers. Best of all, you get to meet these singles while wearing your grungy sweats and propping your feet up on your computer desk. There’s not even a need to primp with makeup or splash and cologne.
Welcome to the world of online dating! It’s true that eyebrows used to rise whenever some new couple announced that they met online. Newspapers and magazines
published in the early 90s were plastered with articles about Internet meetings and sexual flings. Now online dating is the cultural norm, a practical choice over the traditional dating scene. And the outcome can be just as good as (or even better than) traditional dating methods. Marriages are regularly initiated over the Internet.
You can now meet and fall in love with someone before even looking into their eyes or giving them a kiss!People routinely develop online friendships with men and women who live halfway across the world. Some of these friendships lead to committed and monogamous relationships
where one or both of the individuals relocate to another city, state, or country.
Instead of blowing thirty bucks on a stranger you’ll
never see again, you can opt to pre-date possible matches. This gives you the chance to develop a relationship online, to truly dig in, get to know each other, and decide if sparks will fly before you even arrange a real date. “Pick one, any one,” is the initial psychological impression when viewing the many online profiles.
After all, a visit to an online dating site is almost like
visiting a store, only the “merchandise” is a real live human being. Instead of being limited to the handful of available local men or women,online dating site users can potentially meet dozens or even hundreds of quality singles.
Anonymous e-mail services allow singles to safely and
effectively get to know each other before any arrangements are made for a face-to-face meeting. This gives cyber daters the ability to sort out the true prospects from the losers in the comfort and privacy of their homes.
Modern online daters have an obvious advantage. Personality tests and other compatibility-geared methods can be used to instantly weed out the majority of wrong matches. The daters are then left with a short list of highly probable prospects. These remaining prospects may have so much in common with the dater to permanently seal a lifelong relationship.
Perhaps the divorce rate will begin to lower as these types of Internet dating sites grow in popularity? Just a thought. Online dating does allow singles to easily weed out the bad from the good. It’s a practical option for busy or rofessional men and women who simply do not have time to meet other singles through traditional methods. Online dating is literally like entering another world, only this is the kind of world that can forever change your life.
Now, after you have a “check list” ready, it is time for action.
You can not sit at home and wait for prince/princess charming to just fall from the sky for you.
Go out, meet new people, join different social groups, go to parties or try to do it the modern way – Online dating like Match Infinity. You can give it a try…it worked for me.
As an experienced “online dater”, I have decided to make my own singles dating site which is open for everyone who feels like giving it a shot. It is equipped with the latest technology, dating articles, tips, and a lot more.
Good luck.
www.matchinfinity.com
By: Patrick Jeannot
A good personal ad will get many times the responses that a poor one will get, so it is well worth the effort. You will get a lot more replies if you include good photos, so find a friend who can take good photos of you. The photos should be no more than a year old. It is much better to have a recent, accurate photo, than to run the risk of disappointing the person when you meet them because you look older or more out of shape than your photo. Make sure one photo is a good closeup of your face, and it’s a big plus if you are smiling in that photo. It is also a plus if you include additional photos of you doing things you enjoy so that they get a picture of what you are like in action.
Pick an online name that is positive and something that might interest the kind of person you would like to meet.
Be sure to write at least a full paragraph about yourself and what you like to do. Usually it is better to write more. You might write about what music you like, if you watch or participate in sports, if you like to watch movies, if you like travel and where you have gone, if you like to eat in restaurants or like to cook, and what hobbies or interests you have. Try to include things about yourself that make you special. If you have children, mention them, but remember the profile is about you, not your children.
Do not include any remarks about not wanting cheaters, liars, people who play games, or anything that might give the impression you are still angry about a past relationship. This can kill your chances with someone nice faster than anything. Leave the past in the past.
Go ahead and mention what you would like in a partner, but make it sound positive and open. “Fat people need not apply,” would simply be rude and get a very negative reaction from a lot of people, even people who are slender and athletic. Better would be something like, “Looking for someone to share my interest in healthy eating and fitness.”
Being negative about anything in your profile will likely turn away some of the very people you would like to meet because they will associate you with those negative feelings. You want your readers to feel good when they read your profile, because if you make them feel warm and make them smile, they are much more likely to respond.
By: CD Mohatta
Online dating should be easy, full of fun and simple. That’s why we strive to offer some of the best dating tips to think about when going out on dates. These dating tips are to make your stress lighter and control your excitements. These will also help you in making your date smile brighter.
It goes this way. You’ve previously sent out a tease to someone whose profile has aroused your curiosity and interest in you for that person. It was, maybe, due to their amazing profile, their electrifying photos or their magnetic personal values as mentioned in their profile. Now, you find that they have responded you positively to your tease and your mail inbox is filled with their messages, which are waiting for you. That’s the way, how you are going to meet great singles at an online dating site nowadays.
You could be either experienced dater or newbie. If that’s the case, then thoughts of preparation for first date could make you nervous and your mind will be flooded with queries such as where to meet? What should I wear? Do I need to take a gift? How this person would be? Would I be able to talk smoothly and keep my conversation going? and so on.
Now, just take a moment and relax. There is nothing to fear about. Believe in yourself and enjoy the moment of dating. Read the following and get more ideas to come over your anxieties.
Ask first
Find out first if your prospective date is interested to be with you. Send mails or call up to say “would you mind for an evening cup of coffee together”, “what do you say for brunch at SunShine this Sunday” or something similar which you think your date would easily accept to meet. Don’t just ask someone out for the sake of it but find someone if you are really interested to go for first date and also you partner is interested. If your proposal is accepted then go ahead and fix the time and place for meeting.
Pick the right spot
When you decide to go for your first date, there are lot of options. Either you can meet your date at the public place, at the good restaurant, at yours or date’s house or even go for a movie. Two hours movie date may not be so good to start with. You perhaps don’t want to sit and stare each other and if movie is good, you may get engrossed so much that you might ignore your date.
Ideally, most dating couples prefer an open place which is cozy but also surrounded with people. It should not be very crowded where you your privacy is hampered. Most suitable places are coffee shop, happy hour bar or casual lunch joint where you have good time to begin with formal intro, discussion on general issues and get to know each other. Remember that your intention should not be to impress your date with lavish ambience. If you don’t know such place then check it out with your friends and colleagues or even your date. A first date should be impressive and memorable.
Tell your friends about your date
Sharing haps with friends will lighten up and appease any safety worries you might have. Also, you will have someone to share your first date moments of laughs and glee, if any.
Don’t keep the high hope
Remember one thing that you are going on a first date and not for marriage. You are going to see a strange person, whom you do not know much about. Consider that you’ll see only a friend in your first date. Keeping this momentum will takes the pressure off and is one of the keys to a fantastic first date.
Be on time
It is advisable to be on time or little bit early on your first date. Should also expect the same from your date. If you make too late then chances are that either you’ll miss the date or you’ll lose the excitement of meeting someone for the first time.
Impressive Dressing
Clothing do play vital role in first date. New clothes are preferred. if not then go for your best of collection which will fit you well and you feel most comfortable, good and fabulous. Remember, “dress to kill” on your first date. Also make sure that you that whatever you wear is appropriate for the place you’re meeting at. Of course, neat and clean personality will definitely follow more dates to come.
Conversation
A good conversation will also impress your date. Speak in soft and gentle tone. Conversation with a gentle and confident voice will help you in building impressive personality in the eyes of your date. An impressive conversation in the beginning will help you in building good relationship in coming dates. Give the compliment to your date which should sound more genuine than appeasing. Pay attention to your date. Listen what your date says. Avoid complaining on the very first date. Also, avoid discussing about your ex-boy or girlfriends and how you broke with them. Avoid painting negative part of your dating experience in front of your date first time.
Give Respect
Respect your date. Pay due attention when your date is talking. Be respectful and polite. Give more space in talking to your date rather than giving yourself more attention and importance. Give enough time to your date to express his or her views. Monitor your conversation specially the humor. What is more hilarious to you may not be funny to your date. But if you both find something amusing then laugh up a storm. Use thank you’s and sorry in your conversation frequently.
Keep the momentum live
If you find everything is going well and you liked the company of the person then go ahead and ask for the next dates. Tell your date how you felt nice on the first date. If your date has also enjoyed then chances are that you’ll get positive reply sooner or later.
At the end of date, thank your date for joining you and say something nice before you depart.
DatingServices-Online.net wishes you all the best on your first date.
Author: Anees Ahmed
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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Gay Dating Tactics: Your First-Date Do’s & Don’ts
Author: Brian Rzepczynski // Category: RelationshipsIntroduction
Nothing gets the heart pumping quite like the nervous anticipation that goes along with going out on a first date with a guy. Whether it’s a blind date or someone you’re already acquainted with, the first meeting with a dating prospect brings with it a host of emotions, more commonly a mixture of excitement and nervousness. As the pivotal moment approaches, thoughts can become centered on such questions as: “Will he like me?” “Will I like him?” “Is he going to be The One?” “What if I mess things up and make a fool of myself?” “What will I talk about? What if I run out of things to say?”
Everyone’s experience is different, but the one common denominator that most daters would testify to is that it can be difficult to navigate through the waters of man-to-man dating. Although it’s changing, we gay men have few role models to emulate when it comes to love and romance. There’s no template to follow and we were never taught how to flirt with and date other men. There are no rules, no structure, and no guidance. How do two men join together in the “courtship dance?” While a lack of rules for gay dating can be a positive thing, lending to more creativity, spontaneity, and individuality, it can also create anxiety and a sense of “cluelessness” in how to meet and date successfully–kind of like a car without a driver.
This article will offer some tips on how to approach your first date with that lucky guy you’ve chosen to get to know in sequence of that date’s occurrence. While these are by no means “rules”, these ideas can offer a means to ground yourself and make the most out of the experience without sabotaging it before it gets off the ground. Pick and choose the ones that seem right for you and create your own principles as a means of being a healthy dater who lives with integrity and follows his own values.
Before the Date
·When setting a time and place for your date, be sure to make it a short meeting (1-2 hours) for the first time and select a place that is either activity-oriented or allows for lots of opportunity to talk. Avoid movies and instead opt for a short get-together at a coffee shop or at the zoo. Making it brief takes a lot of the pressure off, especially if you find the two of you aren’t compatible, and allows for healthy pacing of your dating relationship. You can always extend the date if you’re getting along famously.
·Take the emphasis off of it being a date and instead view it as a chance to meet a potential new friend. This can help “take the edge off” and allow you to relax without focusing on the outcome of the date. Avoid placing too many hopes and expectations on the encounter; let it evolve naturally and if a spark ignites during your time together, then that’s an added bonus!
·If you’re particularly nervous, take some time to do some relaxation exercises (deep breathing, visualization, etc.) to help soothe yourself and get centered. If you’re worried about what to talk about, generate a list of possible ideas beforehand and role-play with a friend to build confidence. But don’t rely too much on this or you’ll appear stiff and rehearsed. Be cool and be yourself. This isn’t about performance.
·Dress comfortably and in clothing that makes you feel good about yourself. Make sure you and your date are on the same page about the style of dress for your date. In my own dating days, I showed up for a second date in a nice oxford shirt and jeans to then find my other half dressed to the nines in a French suit not realizing his intentions for the evening. It made for a very embarrassing moment and he cancelled the reservations he’d made for us for dinner at a ritzy, fine-dining establishment. He then changed into more casual clothes and took me to a family restaurant instead. Ouch! His image of me instantly changed and he stopped seeing me after that. He did us both a favor by ending things, but at the time it was quite humiliating. So be clear to avoid any miscommunication.
During the Date
·Be punctual and relax. No matter how attracted you may be to the man sitting across from you, it is your responsibility to be yourself–avoid trying to put up a façade and be someone you’re not to try to impress your date. You are great just as you are. Let him get to know the real you; otherwise, you’re engaging in a form of deception that will only come back to bite you later. Be authentic and eventually you’ll be rewarded with a truly compatible partner.
·Be attentive to your date. Show respect by maintaining good eye contact and don’t let those eyes stray if there are other attractive men in the room. Have an open posture and let your nonverbal communication and body language convey interest in learning about your date. Stay out of your own head and shut off those distracting thoughts; really listen to what he’s saying. Balance active listening with sharing things about yourself. Ask open-ended questions to gain more elaboration on points made in your discussion to stretch out conversations and learn more about your date. This is especially effective if you’re feeling shy or are short on things to say because it gets the other person talking more, allowing for more tidbits that you can start other dialogues about. Be positive and let your sense of humor shine through.
·Avoid controversial topics of discussion as these may be offensive to your date. You can ease into these the more you get to know him. Avoid alcohol, as this may alter your behavior, and stay away from sexual content and innuendo. Unless sex is the motivation for your date, introducing sexual talk into your first date can set the tone in an inappropriate direction. Discussions about sex and sexual preferences can come later after you’ve been able to establish more of a genuine, mature connection. Questions like “Are you a top or a bottom?” may appear crass at a first meeting and may cause an unfavorable impression of you to form in your date’s mind and image of you.
After the Date
·Whether your date was a smash hit or a disaster, exercise good manners and thank your new acquaintance for the date. If you’d like to see him again, state this and call him in a day or so to ask him out again. Don’t get caught up in the whole dating game of “How many days should I hold off to call him to avoid looking desperate?” or “I’m going to let him be the one to call me.” If you like him, take charge of your life and make that call. If you didn’t feel a “love connection” with the guy, thank him for the date and kindly and tactfully tell him that it’s not a match. While this may be extremely difficult, it’s always best to be honest and direct in a gentle, polite way. If you’d like to try to develop a friendship instead, suggest that. But be honest and direct and don’t tell him you’ll call him again if you really have no intention of doing so. That’s cruel.
·Do some de-briefing after your date and reflect on your conduct, as well as your date’s, and perhaps journal about the experience. How did you feel? How did you manage yourself during the date? What would you have changed? What went well? What did you learn about yourself as a result of this date? How would you rate the date and the guy you met? From what you can tell so far, is there compatibility with your personal requirements and vision for a life partner? Is he matching up thus far with your needs, wants, goals, and values?
Conclusion
Dating can be a nerve-wracking, daunting task, particularly with the absence of dating education available to us as gay men. What traditions and roles that our heterosexual counterparts have for dating are applicable for us, if any? What are we supposed to do?
The key is to have fun with dating and take a light approach. Dating is both an art and a science in my belief, combining common sense decision-making with self-awareness of what one wants and needs for a happy and fulfilling lifestyle. When your dating behavior is in alignment with your values and vision for a relationship, you’ll be living with integrity and will be able to approach all your dates with a more relaxed tone and confident demeanor. It will make the process much more easy-going and rewarding. Cheers to your dating success!
©2005 Brian L. Rzepczynski
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:
Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs,and teleclasses, please visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.
Please also include with the article the words © Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you!
Author: Brian Rzepczynski
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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Ultimate Dating Tips, Advice, & Strategies For Dating Mastery!
Author: Brad Paul // Category: RelationshipsAlthough this article has a lot of great dating tips, advice, and ideas, it offers much more. It gives you an education and a step-by-step strategy that you can use to dramatically improve your dating success and enjoyment.
To draw your attention to key points, you will find these markers throughout the text: (Dating Tip:) & (Dating Ideas:).
Benefits to Mastery
Most of us approach dating in a lackadaisical manner as if our actions were dictated by instincts that we have no control over, like it is with animals. The difference, of course, is that humans have an infinitely superior intelligence that provides us with the ability to think, analyze, and choose.
Mastering dating rituals and techniques can change everything in terms of how successful you are in the courting process. This includes not only having the ability to recognize early when it’s time to move on, but also how to create romance and passion with the person you have determined to be a promising match. (Dating Tip:) Dating rituals and techniques create the mystery and romance that women love and render the enticement and passion that men love.
Other benefits to gaining these skills is having more poise and confidence, which translate to having more fun! The final reward is a successful dating experience with someone you recognize as being the one who’s right for you!
Building from the Basics
We will develop this information from a solid foundation by building from the basics of dating. For it is through the dating basics or rituals where we will apply the techniques that we shall learn about. Even the highly experienced dating veteran will benefit from this review.
The first date can produce a wide range of feelings from extreme nervousness and apprehension to being relaxed and self-assured for the well prepared or experienced. Opinions on how the date went can also vary widely from, “I think we had a great time” to “I’m not sure if either one of us had a good time or not.” The uncertainty and mixed emotions are normal. The variation to either end of the scale of possible emotions depends on how much dating experience a person has and how long it’s been since they dated last.
Responsibility for at least the first several dates, even by today’s standards, typically rests almost entirely on the man. Ladies can be helpful, however, by being cooperative with plans and gracious as her man tries his best to execute the various dating rituals and customs such as opening doors, ordering wine, and so forth without stumbling.
First Date
The first date should be scheduled a week to two (2) weeks in advance, and it should be on a weekday (Monday through Thursday), not Friday or Saturday night. Friday, and especially Saturday, nights are reserved for the more advanced stages of dating. If work or school schedules doesn’t permit this, then a date during the day on Saturday or Sunday will work. (Dating Tip:) Incidentally, you should be trying to date several people, or at least more than one (1), during your quest. Focusing on just one person can stifle your resolve to reach your target.
Guys, you should select a particular day and time for your date in advance of asking her. If she tells you that it’s not a good day, do not negotiate unless she offers a specific alternative that fits into your plan (Monday through Thursday, anytime, or Saturday or Sunday, during the day). If she doesn’t offer a specific alternative (This would not include, “Call me next week.”), say to her, “Perhaps some other time.” That’s it! (Dating Tip:) The reason for all these tactical moves is this: If she is interested, she will help make it happen by re-arranging her schedule or by offering a specific alternative. Ladies, I’m sure you will agree with this. (Dating Tip:) Gentlemen, if you do get an unclear response to your invitation for a date, then make the decision based on your gut instincts on whether you should give it a second try or move on. If the second try doesn’t work, then don’t waste your time, just move on! The same is true for the ladies. (Dating Tip:) If a guy is not following these guidelines by not giving you enough advanced notice, or he has no plans when he picks you up, or he’s not attentive during your dates, move on! In either case, the situation for the person you are attracted to could change in the future, but for now they are probably not interested.
The destination for your date should be simple and inexpensive, but clean and nice, and in your neighborhood. There is no sense investing your time or a lot of money until you determine if you like each other. (Dating Tip:) Most women will only become uncomfortable, or perceive you as being foolish, if you spend a month’s pay on the first date. (Dating Ideas:) Possible locations for a first date might be at a local tavern, a coffee house, or an inexpensive restaurant.
Your Best Act is Being Yourself
Don’t try to impress your date with your money, your position, your car, or your body measurements. Using these things to win someone over will only attract those with superficial intentions. (Dating Tip:) Win them over by showing them the qualities you have inside by simply being yourself.
Actually, the most important thing you can do on a date is to be yourself. There is always the temptation to act like the “Goddess Princess” or the “Knight in Shining Armor,” especially after a few drinks. There is also the tendency to go along with things that conflict with your values, or to overstate your accomplishments or virtues. Trying to be somebody you aren’t will not only bind you to a pack of lies, but it will often bring about an arrogant and conceited manner in you. It’s also a lot of work being someone you’re not. Wouldn’t you rather have someone fall in love with you as you truly are? Of course you would! So do it. Be yourself!
Attraction Intoxication
Although you may be intoxicated by the beautiful or handsome appearance of your date, do not reveal the full extent of your feelings just yet. Save that for the right moment several dates down the road. Just say, “You look very nice this evening.” and leave it at that. (Dating Tip:) In regard to sexual innuendoes, they have no place during the early stages of dating. They can be offensive to women, and sometimes to men as well.
Do not permit physical attraction (or lust) to cloud your judgment. When this happens, your vision begins to fade away, and you risk the chance of fooling yourself into believing that you have found the one who’s right for you. Don’t allow physical attraction to obscure your emotional requirements. Because when you find someone who satisfies both, the fireworks will be a continuous grand finale’, and not a brief show followed by a string of duds. So don’t settle for an individual who falls short of your vision. (Dating Tip:) To quickly determine if someone meets our criteria, we need to pay attention to our intuition and not be timid about attempting to determine their true character through tactful questions.
Tactical Questions
Keep the conversation light during the first few dates, but try to tactfully find out if your date has the qualities you seek in a partner or friend. (Dating Tip:) And don’t tell them your whole life story and all your intimate secrets right away. Prolong the mystery. In fact, always try to maintain some degree of anonymity in some area of your personality or life, as it naturally provokes more excitement. Mystery is a mental aphrodisiac!
Take notice of your date’s personality attributes and how they demonstrate their values through their actions and unrehearsed comments. Then ask yourself, “Do their responses reflect my values?” Human resource professionals carefully use crafted questions to get people to talk about themselves while they unwittingly reveal key aspects of their character. (Dating Tip:) Questions like these, used in a date setting, can also be revealing as well as lead to stimulating conversation.
On the first few dates, your questions should be geared toward discovering what you have in common and generating stimulating conversation. Save the more probing and tactical questions for a later time down the road. Typical questions might include:
- Where did you grow up?
- Do you have brothers/sisters?
- Where did you go to high school/college?
- What are your favorite movies?
- What are your favorite songs?
- What are your favorite sports?
- What type of books do you read?
More probing questions, which tend to reveal a lot about a person, should not occur until the third or fourth date. You can keep them from sounding like interview questions by presenting them playfully in a game-like manner. Probing questions might include:
- Where do you see yourself in three (3) to five (5) years?
- Using single words, how would you describe yourself?
- What’s your greatest achievement?
- What’s your greatest disappointment?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What is your best attribute?
Here are a few words of caution regarding the use of questions. (Dating Tip:) If you’re dating more than one person at the same time, and you have any tendency to get confused about what you’ve talked about with each individual, I would suggest that you make notes on what you talked about in your journal or calendar. Nothing is more disappointing to a date than when it is discovered that you can’t remember what you spoke to them about. (Dating Tip:) On the other hand, nothing is more charming to them than when you remember specific details about your conversation.
At the End & Before the Next Date
Gentlemen, if when saying good night on the first date you feel a kiss might be appropriate, kiss her once to the duration that feels right. (Dating Tip:) Then say good night, turn, and walk away. Do not linger, talk more, try to kiss her again, or ask her for a second date!
Ladies, be sure to thank your date for the things that he bought you during the date. Be sensitive to the fact that dating is expensive and you never know how deep a man is going into his current budget to take you out.
Wait a few days and think it over. Is he or she worth pursuing? If so, gentlemen call her about a week later and schedule the second date for around a week from then. (Dating Tip:) Ladies if you haven’t heard from him within two (2) weeks, move on! Don’t allow yourself to take it personally, even if you had a great time! Don’t waste your time trying to figure it out. Just get yourself back out there! Ladies, if you’re the one who’s not interested, simply refuse his offer for a date, even if you don’t have a date for the company Christmas party! You’d make a much better impression on your friends and management if you were there with someone who was truly right for you!
Second Date
The second date should be advanced one more step by scheduling it later in the week on a Thursday or Friday evening, or Sunday, but not Saturday night! The destination should remain inexpensive, but slightly more adventuresome. (Dating Ideas:) Perhaps a light dinner at a unique sandwich or coffee shop, a movie, a special ice cream parlor, and/or a walking tour through a popular area with a lot of interesting stores.
The goodbye kiss on the second date can last a little longer, or a kiss or two (2) during the date is OK, but don’t draw them out for too long. (Dating Tip:) Build up to that. Then later on down the line, after your friendship and feelings have been established, the long romantic kiss will be very heartfelt and memorable. If rushed, there’s the possibility that the progress of your relationship development may not match, resulting in an awkward moment. So let interest, excitement, and romance develop at its own pace and give your partner/friend something to think about between dates! (Dating Tip:) Gentlemen, after the goodnight kiss, if there is one (some people take longer and that’s OK too), say good night and leave. Do not linger! And do not schedule the next date then. Wait! Waiting not only gives you a cooling off period to get your head straight, but it also builds excitement and romance.
Third Date
If things seem to be advancing well and your date appears to fit your criteria so far, gentlemen, ask her for a third date after about a week and schedule it approximately a week in advance. And elevate the courting process to the next level, perhaps a Friday or even a Saturday night! (Dating Ideas:) Dinner and dancing, or dinner and a movie are good choices.
Ladies, if he doesn’t meet your criteria at this point, move on! (Dating Tip:) Don’t think that you can change him! Instead of wasting time, get back out there! If he calls, just tell him that your situation has changed and you’re no longer available. If he’s persistent, be honest, but also remember to be kind and empathetic. Just tell him something like, “I think we would both be happier with someone else.”
I am placing more emphasis at this point on the ladies decision on whether they should move on because women typically have better judgment than men during the early stages of dating. Later on, it switches.
Dancing Expresses the Heart
I am going to change directions for a couple of minutes to provide you with some important and exciting thoughts about dancing. Let me start by giving you a bit of history on dancing. Humans have been dancing for thousands of years. Many different forms and uses evolved along with the development of human society. Although dancing was used for a wide variety of situations, its underlining purpose in most of them was to inspire and to gain unity of thought or focus. Male warriors danced together to strengthen one another, females danced together to support one another, spiritual leaders danced to achieve a closer connection with their higher power, and lovers danced together to celebrate, connect, and express their affections for each other.
I would suspect that the greatest number of dance variations, especially in modern society, exist between men and women. There’s the waltz, the tango, the swing, the two-step, and many more. My favorite is the free-style dance that you might see in a nightclub, because it allows complete freedom to express your individuality.
Whatever your tastes are in dance, what is important is whether or not you and your partner/friend harmonize in style, rhythm, and tempo. (Dating Tip:) If not, it is very likely that you will not harmonize in other major areas of your relationship as well, but especially in the area of romantic compatibility.
Think back. Have you ever danced with someone who seemed to be dancing alone? They moved in a manner and speed that was way out of rhythm from yours? Have you ever danced with someone who forcibly led with his or her own style without regard to whether you were following or enjoying it? Have you ever noticed how this same person tried to control everything off the dance floor as well? It’s very uncomfortable to be in these situations and not enjoyable or fun as it should be.
In contrast, when you find someone who harmonizes with your dancing style, the activity can be both fun and erotic! You will also find that you get along, almost mysteriously well, off the dance floor as well! If you can’t fully appreciate the amorous and romantic aspects of dancing, rent the movie “Dirty Dancing.”
You can see then that the way a person dances is really an expression of their internal self. (Dating Tip:) Therefore, it is important to zero in on this aspect of your interactions when you’re with someone. Don’t settle for less, either. Dancing with the one who’s right can be absolutely magical! And your dancing skills really have little to do with it. Now let’s return to our main topic.
Evaluate Your Aim
After the third date, it’s time to consider if you should continue dating this person or not. (Dating Tip:) Start by reviewing your criteria for an ideal partner or friend and comparing it to the person you’ve been seeing. If you have not yet created a list of criteria for your perfect partner, I would strongly suggest that you do.
Do not rationalize! Think carefully about your evaluation and then make a decision to continue or move on. And stick to it! Incidentally, this choice becomes a lot easier if you’re dating more than one person at the same time, which is highly recommended.
Reality before Sex
If you’ve decided to proceed, and you feel sex is a possibility, it’s time to revisit reality, and discuss contraception and protection from sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s). This would be appropriate for couples of any age. (Dating Tip:) You may feel uncomfortable with the thought of discussing these subjects with your partner/friend, but it’s your life and these issues must be resolved. One bad choice in this area can instantly ruin your life forever!
(Dating Tip:) I would strongly suggest no matter how truthful, safe, and healthy your partner/friend seems, that you make certain that an adequate birth control method is being used, and that you both get tested for STD’s before your first sexual encounter. If you don’t have medical insurance to cover these expenses, most local health departments offer birth control counseling and STD testing for free or at a nominal fee.
Fourth through Sixth Date
If you’re ready to move on to dates four (4) through six (6) it’s time to start planning some adventures. (Dating Ideas:) Guys, get creative and do some research to find some unique restaurants and activities such as dinner cruises, plays, concerts, or special events. Concentrate on the activities that would take you outside of the area where your date lives or works. Your objective is to create unique, memorable, and adventurous experiences together.
After the sixth date, it’s time (once again) to consider whether or not you want to continue dating this person. (Dating Tip:) Again, review your criteria for an ideal partner or friend. At this point, it may be more difficult to break away or think clearly, especially if you’ve been intimate and your weekends are no longer lonely but filled with the excitement of dating! Think carefully about your evaluation, and then go with your gut instincts as to whether you should continue or end it. Keep in mind that it’s a lot easier to end a relationship in the early stages than later. In fact, as time goes on, it gets progressively more difficult. So give it serious consideration, and don’t allow a temporary good time to postpone your discovery of the one who’s right! If you decide to continue though, do so with gusto!
Seventh through Ninth Date
If you decide to move on to dates seven (7) through nine (9), it’s time for some trips, some introductions into your personal world, and some romantic activities. Ladies, at this point, it would be fitting for you to start planning an activity every once in a while, where you pay for a portion or all of the expense. Even if it’s just a home-cooked meal, most men will love it! (Dating Tip:) Guys, some brainstorming and research may be required here. Also, planning an activity together might be appropriate, allow you to see how you work together, and may result in a truly memorable experience!
(Dating Ideas:) Trips might include an entire day (or evening) at an amusement park, cultural center, a specialty show, a zoo, or a museum. For those who are more sports orientated, a day of snow or water skiing, sailing, golf, or tennis may be more of an appeal. (Dating Tip:) Exposure to each other’s personal world is necessary so that you can thoroughly assess the integrity of your matching. This means that you need to introduce your partner/friend to a couple of people and activities that are important to you in your life. Then you will need to do the same with your partner/friend and gain exposure to key people and activities in their life. (Dating Tip:) You will then be able to determine whether or not your two (2) lives will blend together successfully. (Dating Ideas:) Romantic activities can vary from a walk on the beach, a picnic in the country, or a candle light dinner at home to those of greater intimacy such as a weekend at a resort.
After the ninth (9th) date, it’s time (once again) to evaluate whether or not you want to continue the relationship. (Dating Tip:) Again, review your criteria for an ideal partner or friend.
At this point, the idea of breaking it off can be painful. But if it’s not working by now, I can assure you, it probably never will! So if your evaluations on this person are coming out poorly and they have few, if any, of the qualities you “must have” or “cannot have” in a relationship then you need to face facts. (Dating Tip:) Don’t rationalize! Don’t sell yourself short! And don’t waste anymore time! Think carefully about the conclusions you came to in your evaluation. Make a decision, and don’t look back!
If, on the other hand, you determine that the person you are dating matches your criteria for an ideal partner or friend, and you feel that the chemistry is right, then continue on without fear, without hesitation, and without measure of what you expect to receive in return!
Author: Brad Paul
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Wordpress plugin Guest Blogger
Dating in the Workplace – Be Careful When Considering Such a Relationship
Author: admin // Category: Relationships
Given how much time the majority of us spend at work these days, it is hardly surprising that many relationships blossom there. While some people disapprove of dating in the workplace, preferring to keep their work and personal lives separate, dating a co-worker can also add a little excitement to your working week. Before you decide to start dating someone you work with however you should consider a few factors.
Some companies discourage the practice of dating within the workplace and it is important to check out your company’s regulations regarding this before you leap into a passionate relationship with the top sales executive. The more strict company policies regarding dating may require you to notify human resources or even to transfer to a new position before embarking on the relationship.
If the object of your attraction is your secretary or another subordinate, you need to proceed very carefully. Dating someone who reports to you directly or is dependent on you for possible promotion can be particularly complicated and may cause frictions within the workplace. Other jealous staff members might be tempted to accuse you of offering your date a promotion in return for certain sexual favours; accusations that could prove seriously damaging to your career.
It is much easier dating someone from a different department or floor to your own as this will tend to have less impact on the atmosphere within the workplace. Not only are you free from the possibility of any accusations or tensions developing as a result of you and your co-worker dating, you will also be able to maintain a little more distance at work and keep a sensible separation between your office and your love life. It also means that, should you break up, you will not have to see that person every single day which can be difficult when feelings have been hurt.
If your dating experience goes well and starts to develop into a more intimate relationship it might be tempting to express your love in public. This is not recommended and could harm your professional image, as well as encouraging gossip within the office. Similarly, fights or arguments should be left at home and not brought into work. Any kind of in-fighting spoils the atmosphere and has a negative effect on productivity.
Even if your company has no official policy about dating in the workplace, it is still important to exercise some common sense. If your personal relationship starts to impact on your work or the productivity of your department as a whole, this presents the company with every reason to introduce stringent rules in the future.
It is also recommended that you inform your manager about your relationship with a co-worker. This can both protect you and can also protect the company from any future allegations about sexual misconduct within the workplace. As with dating in any context, be sensitive to how your intimacy is making other people feel and be professional about your relationship and the possible effects it can have within the workplace.
By: Janet Boulton
Creating a personal ad for online dating services is not difficult, but how well you write your personal ads will often be the difference between success and failure in online dating. All the rules that apply to advertising in business still apply, and those who define and attract their target audience will be the successful ones. There are many critical items that will draw interest to your ad such as the headline, and how the ad appeals to the interest of the target audience. There are also factors that will determine how well your ad matches with potential mates; including how well you describe your values and how honestly you portray yourself. Writing a personal ad should involve some serious thought and soul searching, as well as some in your face marketing tactics.
Generally speaking, the most important part of any ad is the headline, and this can also be true for online personals. If your headline fails to sell your target audience, they will not read further. The first step in creating your online personal is to imagine your ideal mate. Now consider what your ideal mate is looking for – not what you are looking for. Headlines need to grab attention, but they also need to isolate the target audience, and get them to read further. The best way to do this is to present a catchy title that shows your potential partner why they should be interested in you.
References to sex and cute entendres are best avoided in online personals. While headlines do need to be eye-grabbing, they also need to isolate the type of partner you are looking for. Using sex or overselling personal looks can attract far too many random people that don’t represent good mate candidates. Research other headlines, and copy those that demonstrate the benefits you offer to your ideal mate.
Describing yourself is a critical piece of developing your personal ad. Many people have very na
The online dating site is the new “personal ad” to meet potential dating partners. If you are in the market for a better social life, or looking for a long term commitment, you should try a dating site to see what the internet has to offer. There are sites for nearly every type of person and lifestyle out there and you will find at least one that suits you perfectly. You should look at the type of dating site, what features it offers, and also know specifically how to keep your personal information safe.
Are you a frequent dater or do you date only occasionally? Do you want a long term relationship or are you just looking for a good time from your dating site experience? Are you really outgoing or do you tend to hold back until you know someone really well? What priorities and personality characteristics are important to you in a dating partner? These are all important questions when you are looking to find a dating site to suit your needs. You should also consider how comfortable you are with meeting and dating people this way before you sign up for anything.
There are sites which are for certain age groups, certain religious beliefs, and there is even a dating site for those people with red hair. If you want a site that is more generalized you can find plenty of those online as well. Some sites are free and offer a very basic listing and screening service. Other sites are much more comprehensive and also more expensive and have personality screenings and compatibility profiling to match you with other individuals with similar interests and priorities. While one type of dating site will send you potential matches, other sites will simply post information and you do the contacting.
As you start getting contacts, it is important that you keep safety in mind. Make sure that you and the site do not give out too much personal information such as your address or phone number. On your first meeting, you should try to meet in a public place and let someone know where you are going and when you will return. Take a cell phone with you if you own one.
An online dating service can be a wonderful and easy way to meet people quickly who share similar interests and who also want to make new friends. Give it a try.
By: Eriani Doyel
Ultimate Dating Tips, Advice, & Strategies For Dating Mastery!
Author: Brad Paul // Category: RelationshipsAlthough this article has a lot of great dating tips, advice, and ideas, it offers much more. It gives you an education and a step-by-step strategy that you can use to dramatically improve your dating success and enjoyment.
To draw your attention to key points, you will find these markers throughout the text: (Dating Tip:) & (Dating Ideas:).
Benefits to Mastery
Most of us approach dating in a lackadaisical manner as if our actions were dictated by instincts that we have no control over, like it is with animals. The difference, of course, is that humans have an infinitely superior intelligence that provides us with the ability to think, analyze, and choose.
Mastering dating rituals and techniques can change everything in terms of how successful you are in the courting process. This includes not only having the ability to recognize early when it’s time to move on, but also how to create romance and passion with the person you have determined to be a promising match. (Dating Tip:) Dating rituals and techniques create the mystery and romance that women love and render the enticement and passion that men love.
Other benefits to gaining these skills is having more poise and confidence, which translate to having more fun! The final reward is a successful dating experience with someone you recognize as being the one who’s right for you!
Building from the Basics
We will develop this information from a solid foundation by building from the basics of dating. For it is through the dating basics or rituals where we will apply the techniques that we shall learn about. Even the highly experienced dating veteran will benefit from this review.
The first date can produce a wide range of feelings from extreme nervousness and apprehension to being relaxed and self-assured for the well prepared or experienced. Opinions on how the date went can also vary widely from, “I think we had a great time” to “I’m not sure if either one of us had a good time or not.” The uncertainty and mixed emotions are normal. The variation to either end of the scale of possible emotions depends on how much dating experience a person has and how long it’s been since they dated last.
Responsibility for at least the first several dates, even by today’s standards, typically rests almost entirely on the man. Ladies can be helpful, however, by being cooperative with plans and gracious as her man tries his best to execute the various dating rituals and customs such as opening doors, ordering wine, and so forth without stumbling.
First Date
The first date should be scheduled a week to two (2) weeks in advance, and it should be on a weekday (Monday through Thursday), not Friday or Saturday night. Friday, and especially Saturday, nights are reserved for the more advanced stages of dating. If work or school schedules doesn’t permit this, then a date during the day on Saturday or Sunday will work. (Dating Tip:) Incidentally, you should be trying to date several people, or at least more than one (1), during your quest. Focusing on just one person can stifle your resolve to reach your target.
Guys, you should select a particular day and time for your date in advance of asking her. If she tells you that it’s not a good day, do not negotiate unless she offers a specific alternative that fits into your plan (Monday through Thursday, anytime, or Saturday or Sunday, during the day). If she doesn’t offer a specific alternative (This would not include, “Call me next week.”), say to her, “Perhaps some other time.” That’s it! (Dating Tip:) The reason for all these tactical moves is this: If she is interested, she will help make it happen by re-arranging her schedule or by offering a specific alternative. Ladies, I’m sure you will agree with this. (Dating Tip:) Gentlemen, if you do get an unclear response to your invitation for a date, then make the decision based on your gut instincts on whether you should give it a second try or move on. If the second try doesn’t work, then don’t waste your time, just move on! The same is true for the ladies. (Dating Tip:) If a guy is not following these guidelines by not giving you enough advanced notice, or he has no plans when he picks you up, or he’s not attentive during your dates, move on! In either case, the situation for the person you are attracted to could change in the future, but for now they are probably not interested.
The destination for your date should be simple and inexpensive, but clean and nice, and in your neighborhood. There is no sense investing your time or a lot of money until you determine if you like each other. (Dating Tip:) Most women will only become uncomfortable, or perceive you as being foolish, if you spend a month’s pay on the first date. (Dating Ideas:) Possible locations for a first date might be at a local tavern, a coffee house, or an inexpensive restaurant.
Your Best Act is Being Yourself
Don’t try to impress your date with your money, your position, your car, or your body measurements. Using these things to win someone over will only attract those with superficial intentions. (Dating Tip:) Win them over by showing them the qualities you have inside by simply being yourself.
Actually, the most important thing you can do on a date is to be yourself. There is always the temptation to act like the “Goddess Princess” or the “Knight in Shining Armor,” especially after a few drinks. There is also the tendency to go along with things that conflict with your values, or to overstate your accomplishments or virtues. Trying to be somebody you aren’t will not only bind you to a pack of lies, but it will often bring about an arrogant and conceited manner in you. It’s also a lot of work being someone you’re not. Wouldn’t you rather have someone fall in love with you as you truly are? Of course you would! So do it. Be yourself!
Attraction Intoxication
Although you may be intoxicated by the beautiful or handsome appearance of your date, do not reveal the full extent of your feelings just yet. Save that for the right moment several dates down the road. Just say, “You look very nice this evening.” and leave it at that. (Dating Tip:) In regard to sexual innuendoes, they have no place during the early stages of dating. They can be offensive to women, and sometimes to men as well.
Do not permit physical attraction (or lust) to cloud your judgment. When this happens, your vision begins to fade away, and you risk the chance of fooling yourself into believing that you have found the one who’s right for you. Don’t allow physical attraction to obscure your emotional requirements. Because when you find someone who satisfies both, the fireworks will be a continuous grand finale’, and not a brief show followed by a string of duds. So don’t settle for an individual who falls short of your vision. (Dating Tip:) To quickly determine if someone meets our criteria, we need to pay attention to our intuition and not be timid about attempting to determine their true character through tactful questions.
Tactical Questions
Keep the conversation light during the first few dates, but try to tactfully find out if your date has the qualities you seek in a partner or friend. (Dating Tip:) And don’t tell them your whole life story and all your intimate secrets right away. Prolong the mystery. In fact, always try to maintain some degree of anonymity in some area of your personality or life, as it naturally provokes more excitement. Mystery is a mental aphrodisiac!
Take notice of your date’s personality attributes and how they demonstrate their values through their actions and unrehearsed comments. Then ask yourself, “Do their responses reflect my values?” Human resource professionals carefully use crafted questions to get people to talk about themselves while they unwittingly reveal key aspects of their character. (Dating Tip:) Questions like these, used in a date setting, can also be revealing as well as lead to stimulating conversation.
On the first few dates, your questions should be geared toward discovering what you have in common and generating stimulating conversation. Save the more probing and tactical questions for a later time down the road. Typical questions might include:
- Where did you grow up?
- Do you have brothers/sisters?
- Where did you go to high school/college?
- What are your favorite movies?
- What are your favorite songs?
- What are your favorite sports?
- What type of books do you read?
More probing questions, which tend to reveal a lot about a person, should not occur until the third or fourth date. You can keep them from sounding like interview questions by presenting them playfully in a game-like manner. Probing questions might include:
- Where do you see yourself in three (3) to five (5) years?
- Using single words, how would you describe yourself?
- What’s your greatest achievement?
- What’s your greatest disappointment?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What is your best attribute?
Here are a few words of caution regarding the use of questions. (Dating Tip:) If you’re dating more than one person at the same time, and you have any tendency to get confused about what you’ve talked about with each individual, I would suggest that you make notes on what you talked about in your journal or calendar. Nothing is more disappointing to a date than when it is discovered that you can’t remember what you spoke to them about. (Dating Tip:) On the other hand, nothing is more charming to them than when you remember specific details about your conversation.
At the End & Before the Next Date
Gentlemen, if when saying good night on the first date you feel a kiss might be appropriate, kiss her once to the duration that feels right. (Dating Tip:) Then say good night, turn, and walk away. Do not linger, talk more, try to kiss her again, or ask her for a second date!
Ladies, be sure to thank your date for the things that he bought you during the date. Be sensitive to the fact that dating is expensive and you never know how deep a man is going into his current budget to take you out.
Wait a few days and think it over. Is he or she worth pursuing? If so, gentlemen call her about a week later and schedule the second date for around a week from then. (Dating Tip:) Ladies if you haven’t heard from him within two (2) weeks, move on! Don’t allow yourself to take it personally, even if you had a great time! Don’t waste your time trying to figure it out. Just get yourself back out there! Ladies, if you’re the one who’s not interested, simply refuse his offer for a date, even if you don’t have a date for the company Christmas party! You’d make a much better impression on your friends and management if you were there with someone who was truly right for you!
Second Date
The second date should be advanced one more step by scheduling it later in the week on a Thursday or Friday evening, or Sunday, but not Saturday night! The destination should remain inexpensive, but slightly more adventuresome. (Dating Ideas:) Perhaps a light dinner at a unique sandwich or coffee shop, a movie, a special ice cream parlor, and/or a walking tour through a popular area with a lot of interesting stores.
The goodbye kiss on the second date can last a little longer, or a kiss or two (2) during the date is OK, but don’t draw them out for too long. (Dating Tip:) Build up to that. Then later on down the line, after your friendship and feelings have been established, the long romantic kiss will be very heartfelt and memorable. If rushed, there’s the possibility that the progress of your relationship development may not match, resulting in an awkward moment. So let interest, excitement, and romance develop at its own pace and give your partner/friend something to think about between dates! (Dating Tip:) Gentlemen, after the goodnight kiss, if there is one (some people take longer and that’s OK too), say good night and leave. Do not linger! And do not schedule the next date then. Wait! Waiting not only gives you a cooling off period to get your head straight, but it also builds excitement and romance.
Third Date
If things seem to be advancing well and your date appears to fit your criteria so far, gentlemen, ask her for a third date after about a week and schedule it approximately a week in advance. And elevate the courting process to the next level, perhaps a Friday or even a Saturday night! (Dating Ideas:) Dinner and dancing, or dinner and a movie are good choices.
Ladies, if he doesn’t meet your criteria at this point, move on! (Dating Tip:) Don’t think that you can change him! Instead of wasting time, get back out there! If he calls, just tell him that your situation has changed and you’re no longer available. If he’s persistent, be honest, but also remember to be kind and empathetic. Just tell him something like, “I think we would both be happier with someone else.”
I am placing more emphasis at this point on the ladies decision on whether they should move on because women typically have better judgment than men during the early stages of dating. Later on, it switches.
Dancing Expresses the Heart
I am going to change directions for a couple of minutes to provide you with some important and exciting thoughts about dancing. Let me start by giving you a bit of history on dancing. Humans have been dancing for thousands of years. Many different forms and uses evolved along with the development of human society. Although dancing was used for a wide variety of situations, its underlining purpose in most of them was to inspire and to gain unity of thought or focus. Male warriors danced together to strengthen one another, females danced together to support one another, spiritual leaders danced to achieve a closer connection with their higher power, and lovers danced together to celebrate, connect, and express their affections for each other.
I would suspect that the greatest number of dance variations, especially in modern society, exist between men and women. There’s the waltz, the tango, the swing, the two-step, and many more. My favorite is the free-style dance that you might see in a nightclub, because it allows complete freedom to express your individuality.
Whatever your tastes are in dance, what is important is whether or not you and your partner/friend harmonize in style, rhythm, and tempo. (Dating Tip:) If not, it is very likely that you will not harmonize in other major areas of your relationship as well, but especially in the area of romantic compatibility.
Think back. Have you ever danced with someone who seemed to be dancing alone? They moved in a manner and speed that was way out of rhythm from yours? Have you ever danced with someone who forcibly led with his or her own style without regard to whether you were following or enjoying it? Have you ever noticed how this same person tried to control everything off the dance floor as well? It’s very uncomfortable to be in these situations and not enjoyable or fun as it should be.
In contrast, when you find someone who harmonizes with your dancing style, the activity can be both fun and erotic! You will also find that you get along, almost mysteriously well, off the dance floor as well! If you can’t fully appreciate the amorous and romantic aspects of dancing, rent the movie “Dirty Dancing.”
You can see then that the way a person dances is really an expression of their internal self. (Dating Tip:) Therefore, it is important to zero in on this aspect of your interactions when you’re with someone. Don’t settle for less, either. Dancing with the one who’s right can be absolutely magical! And your dancing skills really have little to do with it. Now let’s return to our main topic.
Evaluate Your Aim
After the third date, it’s time to consider if you should continue dating this person or not. (Dating Tip:) Start by reviewing your criteria for an ideal partner or friend and comparing it to the person you’ve been seeing. If you have not yet created a list of criteria for your perfect partner, I would strongly suggest that you do.
Do not rationalize! Think carefully about your evaluation and then make a decision to continue or move on. And stick to it! Incidentally, this choice becomes a lot easier if you’re dating more than one person at the same time, which is highly recommended.
Reality before Sex
If you’ve decided to proceed, and you feel sex is a possibility, it’s time to revisit reality, and discuss contraception and protection from sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s). This would be appropriate for couples of any age. (Dating Tip:) You may feel uncomfortable with the thought of discussing these subjects with your partner/friend, but it’s your life and these issues must be resolved. One bad choice in this area can instantly ruin your life forever!
(Dating Tip:) I would strongly suggest no matter how truthful, safe, and healthy your partner/friend seems, that you make certain that an adequate birth control method is being used, and that you both get tested for STD’s before your first sexual encounter. If you don’t have medical insurance to cover these expenses, most local health departments offer birth control counseling and STD testing for free or at a nominal fee.
Fourth through Sixth Date
If you’re ready to move on to dates four (4) through six (6) it’s time to start planning some adventures. (Dating Ideas:) Guys, get creative and do some research to find some unique restaurants and activities such as dinner cruises, plays, concerts, or special events. Concentrate on the activities that would take you outside of the area where your date lives or works. Your objective is to create unique, memorable, and adventurous experiences together.
After the sixth date, it’s time (once again) to consider whether or not you want to continue dating this person. (Dating Tip:) Again, review your criteria for an ideal partner or friend. At this point, it may be more difficult to break away or think clearly, especially if you’ve been intimate and your weekends are no longer lonely but filled with the excitement of dating! Think carefully about your evaluation, and then go with your gut instincts as to whether you should continue or end it. Keep in mind that it’s a lot easier to end a relationship in the early stages than later. In fact, as time goes on, it gets progressively more difficult. So give it serious consideration, and don’t allow a temporary good time to postpone your discovery of the one who’s right! If you decide to continue though, do so with gusto!
Seventh through Ninth Date
If you decide to move on to dates seven (7) through nine (9), it’s time for some trips, some introductions into your personal world, and some romantic activities. Ladies, at this point, it would be fitting for you to start planning an activity every once in a while, where you pay for a portion or all of the expense. Even if it’s just a home-cooked meal, most men will love it! (Dating Tip:) Guys, some brainstorming and research may be required here. Also, planning an activity together might be appropriate, allow you to see how you work together, and may result in a truly memorable experience!
(Dating Ideas:) Trips might include an entire day (or evening) at an amusement park, cultural center, a specialty show, a zoo, or a museum. For those who are more sports orientated, a day of snow or water skiing, sailing, golf, or tennis may be more of an appeal. (Dating Tip:) Exposure to each other’s personal world is necessary so that you can thoroughly assess the integrity of your matching. This means that you need to introduce your partner/friend to a couple of people and activities that are important to you in your life. Then you will need to do the same with your partner/friend and gain exposure to key people and activities in their life. (Dating Tip:) You will then be able to determine whether or not your two (2) lives will blend together successfully. (Dating Ideas:) Romantic activities can vary from a walk on the beach, a picnic in the country, or a candle light dinner at home to those of greater intimacy such as a weekend at a resort.
After the ninth (9th) date, it’s time (once again) to evaluate whether or not you want to continue the relationship. (Dating Tip:) Again, review your criteria for an ideal partner or friend.
At this point, the idea of breaking it off can be painful. But if it’s not working by now, I can assure you, it probably never will! So if your evaluations on this person are coming out poorly and they have few, if any, of the qualities you “must have” or “cannot have” in a relationship then you need to face facts. (Dating Tip:) Don’t rationalize! Don’t sell yourself short! And don’t waste anymore time! Think carefully about the conclusions you came to in your evaluation. Make a decision, and don’t look back!
If, on the other hand, you determine that the person you are dating matches your criteria for an ideal partner or friend, and you feel that the chemistry is right, then continue on without fear, without hesitation, and without measure of what you expect to receive in return!
Author: Brad Paul
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Guest blogger
Whether a date’s spontaneous or planned, the first or the last date, or you’re young or old, sooner or later, going out with someone comes to this: Somebody has to ask for the date.
No matter how much or how little you plan (and regardless of your reputation, your Aunt Sylvia, the knot in your stomach, the advice of your friends, your New Year’s resolution, or your success with dating or lack thereof) nobody, with the possible exception of Adam, ever made a date without asking for it. I bet that even with God as the go-between, sooner or later Eve expected Adam to pony up and find the courage to ask if they could take a walk in Paradise, and if he didn’t, well, it explains a lot about the snake, don’t you think?
Face it, the only thing scarier than the first date is asking for the first date. But if you can remember that you’re not looking for a cure for cancer, that you won’t die even if he or she says “yes,” and that life as we know it will continue no matter what your potential date’s response, you may relax enough to actually (gulp) ask for a date.
Gazillions of perfectly normal (and lots of less than normal) people have all gotten nervous about asking for a date. You and I and everybody else are connected to a long line of sweating, nervous, stuttering, tongue-tied souls, and even the slick ones feel anxious on the inside about asking for a date. Do you feel better? No? Well, I was afraid of that. Never fear – in this chapter, I tell you some things that should comfort you in the asking, help you in the consummation, and protect you from any possible devastation beyond a teensy pinch on the ego.
Risking Rejection
The First Rule to asking for a date is this: No guts, no glory. The worst-case scenario is that the prospective date says no. At that point, you’re no worse off than you are at this very moment.
Rejection is definitely not fun, but a rejection is only one person’s opinion of you. You don’t like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you. If someone says no, then he or she misses out on getting to know how truly terrific you are.
Rejection can be the beginning of opportunity. Scads of hugely successful people just wouldn’t take no for an answer. Think about Fred Astaire: When he first went to Hollywood, a talent scout wrote, “Big ears, too skinny, big nose, can dance a little.” Many famous beauties and stars in many fields had to cope with someone’s negative opinion of them – nobody hasn’t faced rejection.
The question is: Are you going to let it get you down? Of course not! Alexander the Great probably conquered the world by the age of 30 because some shortsighted lass turned him down – maybe because he was too intense or short or something. Maybe that rejection made him want to make more than most
Grecians earn. (It’s a pun; say it out loud – but definitely don’t use it until the fourth or fifth date or after you’re married or your last kid leaves for college or your hearing has gone.)
Rejection means that that person says no but not that everyone will. You need to realize when no is no, when someone’s showing absolutely no interest. If someone consistently says no when you ask for a date, it’s okay to say, “Look, I hear that you’re not interested, and I don’t want to be a pest. If you ever change your mind, here’s my number,” or “I’ll call you in a year,” but then for heaven’s sake, don’t call any sooner than that. With time, the sting really does go away.
Conversely, if you really don’t want to go out with someone, don’t say, “Maybe” or “Call me next week.” Just say, “Thank you for asking, but it’s just not possible.” Remember that the world is a very small place. You may change your mind, or that person you turn down may marry your best friend or be in a position to hire you someday. There is no reason to ever hurt someone whose only sin is being interested in you, so be gentle but firm.
Rejection isn’t gender specific. It’s not any easier for guys to face rejection than it is for women. We’ve just programmed men for power, and asking someone out is boss, even if the whole experience is tinged with fear. Either sex can feel more powerful by taking the initiative and asking someone out.
A brush-off with style
The coolest rejection I ever got was from a guy who told me that he’d just gotten a call from an old girlfriend. He said, “She’s reemerged in my life, and I need to see where it goes. I’ll either marry her and invite you to the wedding, or I’d like to finally put it to rest. No matter what happens, I’d like to be able to call you.” Cool, huh?
Biology has nothing to do with the ability to tolerate possible rejection. Women, if you’ve never asked a guy out, you should do it for your own liberal education. Guys love it. However, they may think you’re hotter to trot (sexually) than you really are, so take that into consideration.
If you’re afraid of rejection, you may miss out on a lot in this life, which is pretty darned short as it is. See if you can put that angst away, take the chip off your shoulder, and go for it.
Improving Your Odds
When asking for a date, having a plan is crucial, but you’ve got to stay a little loose. The more structured you are, the more dependent you are on meshing well with a stranger. Therefore, you need to read the signs, stay loose, and keep things light, flexible, and open. You can seriously improve the chances of getting a yes if you keep these tips in mind when you ask for a date.
Never ask for a first date for a Friday or Saturday night
These two main, big, serious date nights are too important a place to start. Asking for a first date on a Friday or Saturday is like playing at Wimbledon without a tennis lesson or having ever played on grass or at all. Even people who don’t have dates and haven’t had one for ages are often loathe to admit their plight to a stranger (and if you haven’t had a first date, you’re still strangers).
Start off with a Wednesday or Thursday night, which are nights when people generally don’t have much planned. Also avoid Mondays like the plague. Everybody hates Mondays.
Never say, “Would you like to go out sometime?”
If you phrase the invitation like this and the askee says “no,” you’ve left yourself absolutely no out except to be swallowed up by a prayed-for earthquake.
If the person says “yes,” you still have to ask him or her out. Yikes. Instead, be specific. It’s much better to say, “I’d love to see the new exhibit at the museum. Any interest in going either Wednesday or Thursday?” You offer a specific opportunity (as well as alternative days) and at the same time, you give your potential date a great deal of room in which to negotiate without sounding wishy-washy or desperate. Giving specifics also allows your potential date a couple of seconds to think about it, rather than getting caught completely off guard.
Always offer options about the date
Options can include the day, time, activity, and transportation. Options make you sound organized without being bossy or rigid, as long as you keep them limited. Offering a few choices at the outset makes you sound less panicky than you would if you were to offer them after the potential date says no to your initial suggestion.
If you’re specific about the date and your potential date doesn’t like the suggested activity but does like you, you can modify your plan.
Also, although a plan with several separate possibilities requires more work on your part, it offers a better chance of success – and a chance to figure out whether your potential date has any interest in you. After all, if you’ve offered all options regarding place, time, date, activity, and so on and the answer is still no, the problem is as clear as the writing on the wall, and you’ve hit the wall. Take a deep breath and move on. It’s not the end of the world, just this potential date. Scary but efficient.
By offering to meet there, go in separate cars, or pick her up, you instantly show yourself to be considerate, capable, and sensitive to the fact that females have heard horror stories about being abducted by a date and never seen again.Although you’re not Jack the Ripper, understanding that she may feel a little uneasy about being in a car with a stranger makes you a liberated and cool guy for thinking like a modern woman. You will score major points.
In the initial stages of dating, people sometimes want so much to be liked that they agree to things at the expense of their integrity. If your potential date has enough sense to say, “I’d love to do something with you, just not mud wrestling,” then give that person a gold star. Don’t be offended – be pleased. You have just found someone with brains, courage, and honesty.
Remember that timing is everything
Don’t ask for tomorrow or next year. A basic rule is to ask for a first date a week to ten days in advance, but you can break this rule with impunity as the need arises. You can ignore these guidelines if the spirit moves you to be spontaneous. For example, “Hey, got time for an ice cream cone?” can get you an immediate yes; you can also expand this invitation to a “maybe next week” if you get a no.
Now is always a better time to ask than later because your courage may diminish over time. There are some obvious exceptions to this rule: Don’t ask someone who is in a crisis (never ask for a date at a funeral), just getting out of a relationship (never ask for a date at a divorce hearing, even if the person isn’t one of the parties involved; it’s bad karma), or going through any other experience when you may appear to be exploiting a weakness. You need to take the other person’s life situation into account as well.
Always go for it if you’re having a good hair or anything else day
You’re cuter when you’re happy, and self-confidence is sexy. Don’t get into the “well, today is a write-off, I may as well ask, get rejected, and make it a perfect score” mentality. You can tolerate being turned down more easily when you’re feeling strong – not to mention that rejection is a lot less likely.
Asking someone out for a first date isn’t the time to trot out your best anything, including your imagination, checkbook, or best friend. This is a time to think KISS: Keep it Simple, Sweetie. All you want to do here is send a clear and gentle but important message: I’d like to spend some time getting to know you better. Are you interested?
The Invitation: Sending the Message
You have several options when actually asking for the date. The choices may be influenced by circumstances (like distance), personality, and personal style. In general, the closer you are when you ask, the better. When you’re close to the person, you get more information, you appear more courageous, and you get some practice for the date.
Answering machine etiquette
An answering machine message, unlike an offthe- cuff remark or rumor or discussion, can be saved and replayed and misinterpreted and overanalyzed and overreacted to and thrown back in your face. Not only that, but you never know who’s going to be listening on the other end. Here are six messages never to leave on a date’s machine:
1. You’re the best I’ve ever had.
2. I never want to see you again.
3. It’s me. Give me a call.
4. Next time, we’ll go out.
5. Your mother is hot.
6 Can I have your friend’s phone number?
You can adapt any of the following methods for sending the message to your level of comfort. But be careful that you’re not hiding behind your comfort level – sooner or later, you’re going to have to get out there and actually date.
1. Asking in person: When possible, this is the best way to ask by far because seeing the person face-to-face gives you the most information. You can read body language and see whether the potential date looks pleased, terrified, God-forbid-revolted, or delighted. Based on the other person’s reaction, you can then modify your behavior accordingly or run. The disadvantage with asking in person is that it’s also the scariest for the exact same reasons. But it’s still preferred and also the friendliest technique.
2. Asking on the phone: This method gives you less information, but if you get panicky, you can always hang up before they answer (although caller ID has made hanging up without saying anything a great deal trickier). When you ask over the phone, nobody can see your palms sweating; but then again, you also can’t see your potential date’s reaction.
Never ask an answering machine for a date. It’s cowardly, sends the wrong message (you’re manipulating them by making them call back before you ask them out), and occasionally, the machine actually eats the message. You never know if your potential date got the message or if it was intercepted by a protective parent, a jealous ex, a careless roommate, or the Fates.
3. Asking through a third party: In elementary school, you may have asked your best friend to ask her best friend if someone liked you. You may have even eventually gotten an answer, but after Suzy told Peter, and Peter told you, were you really 100 percent sure about the answer? Third parties are a very unreliable method of information flow. When other people get involved, sometimes they add their two cents to your message. For example, what if your best friend liked me and wanted you to ask me if I’d go out on a date with him? Can you see lots of room for sabotage and miscommunication?
Remember the story of our Pilgrim forefathers, John Alden and Miles Standish? Miles was the governor who asked his best friend John to intercede on his behalf with Priscilla Mullens. Priscilla decided she liked the messenger, and Miles was left out in the cold. Don’t ask somebody else to ask for your date. The messenger may end up taking your potential date, and then not only do you still need a date but you also need a new friend.
4. Asking with a note: Even though computers have made notes faster and sexier, notes don’t offer you much information and feedback, whether they’re e-mail or snail mail (through the post office). When you ask with a note, you also don’t know the mood your potential date may be in. In addition, a note opens the opportunity for interception, misinterpretation, a delay in feedback, and a lack of flexibility. Ask anybody who’s asked for an RSVP to a written invitation, and you begin to understand the problem with asking for a date through a note. If you’re absolutely determined to ask for a date in writing, I suggest a handwritten note via the post office because it’s classier and implies more effort and concern.
A brief note here on sending a note with flowers, cigars, wine, a baseball hat, a ticket, or any gift: Sending gifts with the note is cute but tricky. You don’t want to appear to be bribing your potential date on the first date. Gifts can be a token of respect and admiration and are okay and even valuable as you’re getting to know each other, but they can be too much too soon. Besides, you don’t want to have to top yourself later and end up buying your potential date a small country by the fourth date. Start out simply.
Getting an Answer
Okey, dokey – you’ve made plans, offered options, and asked for a date. Now what? Well, either the answer is yes, you have a date, or no, you don’t. If the answer is yes, you’re flying and ready to go on to planning the old date-aroony.
Dealing with a no
If the answer is no, you have nothing to lose by asking if another day, place, time, or event would suit them. Listen to the response carefully. Often people really are tied up working late, taking care of a sick parent, getting out of a relationship, studying, or being distracted and would be willing to consider an invitation in the future, just not now.
If you’re feeling brave, you can say, “If not now, how soon?” If you’re feeling a bit vulnerable, you can say, “Let me give you my number, and you can give me a call when you’re ready.” The middle ground is to say, “Why don’t I give you a holler in a week or two and see how you’re doing?” If your potential date says fine, then do it. If he or she says “I’ll call you,” don’t hold your breath. Who needs to turn blue?
Getting some feedback
If you get a no, you may want to take a minute to try to figure out why. Make sure you haven’t gotten into some bad habits. You may need to ask yourself some tough questions. Are you too eager, too desperate, too whiny, too silly, or too tense? Is your breath okay? Do you make eye contact?
No matter how honest you think you are, give yourself some balance by asking a willing friend to critique your approach (you’ve seen it in a million movies where the hero or heroine practices in front of a mirror – no, not Travis Bickle’s “You lookin’ at me?” line). Balance your friend’s feedback with your own opinion so that you’re not being too easy or too harsh on yourself. If you mess up your careful scenario, your friend can give you some tips and hints on improving it, and you can make sense of what you meant to say or do.
Practicing can help you get a grip on your nerves. A little nervousness is flattering to the potential date because it shows that you really want to get to know him or her. Too much nervousness can panic both of you. All things considered, it’s probably even better to be a little bit nervous than so nonchalant and cool that your potential date has the sense you couldn’t care less if he or she accepts your invitation or not, because if he or she isn’t interested, no biggie, it’s not them, you’ll just move on to someone else. It’s not a terrible idea to start a first date on an honest basis. I know – don’t tell anybody I told you, and we’ll try to keep it our dirty little secret.
Author: Alexander Putra
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
