Smart Dating Tips For Women – Develop Outstanding People Skills!
Author: admin // Category: Relationships
Attracting, getting, and maintaining long-lasting love requires both partners to practice sound human-relations skills. When the going gets rough, smart people remain patient, kind, compassionate and, most of all, flexible in their approach to one another. Remember the Golden Rule which reads: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” In other words, treat others as you want to be treated. If you don’t, poor people skills will make you an undesirable person to spend time with.
The following ideas are designed to help fine-tune your ability to get along well with other people and improve your human-relations skills for a better love life:
o START BY BEING FRIENDLY & CHEERFUL.
Remember that first impressions are formed during the initial few seconds of an interaction. That’s why it’s always a safe policy to start off by putting your best foot forward. A good way to accomplish this is to be friendly and cheerful. A warm smile also communicates this feeling in a natural way. People frequently make the mistake of trying too hard to impress someone in the beginning. However usually the other person just wants is to feel comfortable and have an enjoyable experience. If you do not make a good impression, you may not get a chance to make a second one.
o RELAX AND BE NATURAL.
Another helpful technique to master is having an opening greeting in mind to use. Keep it simple and natural such as “Hi, how are you doing?” Rather than dumping a clever line on another person, it’s far better to be relaxed and communicate in a natural manner. This puts the other person at ease.
o REFRAIN FROM EXCESSIVE COMPLAINING AND CRITICIZING.
In my work as a tour director, I’ve had my fill of people who criticize and complain about almost anything. While they may have legitimate reasons for doing this, the end result is that these people enjoy their vacations less and tend to bring other travelers down. If these types of people could only rid themselves of the need to feel more important by making such comments, then they would open up their lives to more social opportunities and better-quality relationships with others. Unfortunately, habitual complainers are the last ones to find out how many love-chances passed them by because of their negative nature. By not being negative, you not only open yourself up to additional possibilities, you will actually allow yourself to enjoy them more, too.
o CONNECT ON THE SAME LEVEL.
Be aware that most communication between people is done on an unconscious level. A well-documented study by Dr. Albert Mehrabian at the University of California, Los Angeles, showed that nonverbal communication — including facial, eye, and body movements — account for 55% of all communication. According to this research, only 7% of communication comes from the actual words we use and 38% of our communication consists of simple voice inflections. In order to connect on the same level, a smart communicator will match another person’s basic voice-traits (volume and speed) and non-vocal patterns (hand gestures, amount of eye contact, and basic facial expressions).
o DON’T TELL OTHER PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE WRONG.
We waste a lot of energy trying to be right. In the meantime, we inadvertently make other people feel wrong. What’s funny is that we often have good intentions when telling someone they are wrong. As concerned friends, we don’t want people we care about to go down the wrong path toward unhappiness, failure, or disappointment. But corrective remarks often result in defensiveness from the other person. So when the stakes are small, be sure to let some harmless comments or behavior go by unchallenged. This allows others to recognize that you approve and accept them as they are. And then be very selective about the things you do address.
o AVOID GOSSIP.
Many people have a natural urge to stick their noses into other people’s business. For some, this is a kind of entertainment that focuses on the faults of others rather than their strengths. The danger with gossip is that it is filled with speculation, questions people’s motives, and is usually designed to criticize or belittle others. Most gossip involves friends, co-workers, or neighbors, so the words of the one who gossips often get back to the accused. People start to wonder what is said about them when they aren’t around. If you are viewed as a gossip, people will consider you untrustworthy. The safe strategy is to mind your own business. Also, simply by listening to gossip, you encourage it.
o GIVE WELL-RECEIVED COMPLIMENTS.
In my earlier career as a public speaking trainer, I had to have a variety of uniquely positive things to say about my students after their speeches. I would usually look for something that I either liked, admired, trusted, or respected about that person. Later, in the dating arena, I found that making an effort to find the less obvious and more personal compliment was a sign that I truly valued the woman at a deeper level. For example, instead of telling a beautiful woman that she was pretty, I would listen intently and say that I enjoyed her sense of humor or respected her opinion about something. That always seemed to score bigger points with my dates and it made me stand out among the other men the woman knew.
o WIN ARGUMENTS BY AVOIDING THE UNNECESSARY ONES!
A lot of wasted energy is spent trying to win arguments rather than letting the other person express his or her ideas freely. Sometimes you must remind yourself that many battles aren’t worth fighting. It’s better to save your ability to discuss differences for the issues that are really important in your relationships. If you feel you could be better at dealing with relationship conflicts, read I’m Right. You’re Wrong. Now What?: How to Break Through Any Relationship Stalemate Without Fighting, Folding or Fleeing by JacLynn Morris, M.Ed. and Paul L. Fair, Ph.D.
Improving your human-relation skills may require breaking some old patterns and habits. However, excelling in your people skills is an attractive quality that allows the chance for love to flourish. Your ability to get along with a wide variety of people under different sets of circumstances goes a long way toward making sure that your love relationship is an expanded, growing one — not a limited dying one.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when you don’t get along well with others and are a pain to be around for very long. But dating rocks when people enjoy your company and deeply value their association with you under all kinds of social circumstances.
By: Steve Nakamoto
This online dating tip is written after I’ve experienced massive trial and error in the online dating world. I’ve started online dating several years ago as a way to supplement my dating life. After trying a lot of different approaches to it, I’ve found a couple of principles that have worked amazingly well for me.
Online dating tip: Writing Good Messages
First let me say that to get a good response % you need to have a good profile. If your messages are amazing, but your profile is not, you will not get a high % of responses because girls will look at your profile before they reply to your message. Your profile should portray you as an alpha male. A man that is confident, and goes for what he wants in life. There is a great book by John Alexander that explains what you need to do in order to become an Alpha Male. The link for my review is at the end of the article.
Online dating tip: Subject Line
The message you write has to be unique. I’m talking go crazy with it. Make sure the subject line is something totally different. I’ve used to following subject lines VERY successfully in the past:
Using a smiley face. Just put “=)” as the subject. This worked well in the past, and I can still get over 50% rate with it.
Make a joke out of it. Start it with “I would have sent you a letter by pigeon”. If you want, you can finish that up with something witty in your actual message. It works even if you don’t though. The most important thing is to stand out, and make sure she opens the message.
Make sure to absolutely NOT EVER use “Hi”, “Hello”, or “You’re hot” as the subject. The really good looking girls get 50+ messages in online dating every day. My model friends that use online dating say that they delete most of those messages right away because they don’t catch their eye at all. The key to success is to stand out as much as possible. Don’t blend in with everyone else.
Online dating tip: Message
Make sure the message is creative and showcases good characteristics of yours. I usually start mine out with, “I just got back from an amazing workout at the gym. Your profile really caught my eye.” Then explain why her profile caught your eye. It can’t be because of her looks. Go deeper than that. All of the other guys that aren’t getting laid are saying that her looks attracted them. Tell her that your favourite thing about her is that she likes to re-read “Catch 22″ a bunch.
The more personal you make the message, the better. Don’t make it too long though, 50 words is usually good. Use no more than 100 words! If you spend too much time writing to one girl, it shows that you’re needy, and are investing yourself too much.
Type a couple of positive things about yourself that you don’t mention in your profile, and make sure to end it all with some thought-provoking questions. Qualifying questions are really good here as well. Only address stuff that is not in her profile though. “Are you an active person?”, “Do you play sports”, “What is your favourite place to visit?” Are all great ways to qualify her. Qualifying is an important online dating tip to include in any of the interactions that you have with her.
These are two things that an alpha male would not do. Being an alpha male is actually a huge part of “sealing the deal” once you do meet them in person.
By: Vincent Decertos
Birmingham is a vibrant city, which has experienced a major facelift over the last few years. There are plenty of people looking for love, and plenty of places for dating in Birmingham once you’ve found it. However, it can be hard taking that first step and asking someone out for a date.
Birmingham dating highlights
Knowing the best places for dating in Birmingham can make that first step of asking someone out a lot easier. Once you’ve found someone you want to spend a bit more time with, you’ll want to take them somewhere special. That’s why we’ve explored the Birmingham dating scene to bring you the best the UK’s 2nd city has to offer.
Bullring
Birmingham’s Bullring is a good place to start any date. It has plenty of restaurants and all the best shops, including the glamorous Selfridges, housed by one of the architectural wonders of the city. The Selfridges building is a vast, billowing metal wave of a building which has been one of the main landmarks of the city since its opening in 2003.
Broad Street
A classic location to head for dating, Birmingham’s Broad Street is a bustling hub of activity and a clubber’s heaven. Start off the evening with a few drinks and a romantic bite to eat at one of the many restaurants by the canal, then explore some of the bars and clubs for a fun night on the town.
Sealife Centre
If you’re looking for a slightly more tranquil day out, Birmingham is home the National Sea Life Centre, the perfect place if your date’s online profile mentions an interest in aquatic animals! This quirky Birmingham dating venue has a huge range of sea animals, including piranhas, turtles, sea horses, rays and otters, and offers a range of different sea life displays including Feeding demonstrations throughout the day, as well as a new Sensorama 4-D Cinema.
Cadbury World
Cadbury may have been bought by US giant Kraft, but the Birmingham factory is still alive and well, and remains open to the public. If your dating partner has a fondness for chocolate then this is a brilliant place to go. This huge factory, just south of the city centre, has tours of the company including a look at the factory floor, free samples and cheap ‘mis-shapes’ in the shop.
The Custard Factory
The Custard Factory, named after its previous incarnation, has now been transformed into a fashionable creative space filled with music and art, as well as a nightclub. It’s a great location for dating in Birmingham and the place to go if your date is a creative type who likes to stay ahead of the pack.
Electric Cinema
This Birmingham icon, the oldest working cinema in the UK, first opened in December 1909. This classically romantic Birmingham dating venue is now home to luxury sofa seating, a full bar and even waiter service. This is the place to go if you like the idea of capturing the magic and romance of early cinema.
By: Emily Heart
Before you dive into the online dating pool, there are a few guidelines you should follow to make your experience more rewarding, effective and safe. Although the basic mechanisms are essentially the same whether using a dating website or following traditional dating protocols, some aspects are quite different and move much faster online. Here are some guidelines for those new to online dating.
Choose your Dating Website Carefully
This should be obvious, but still needs clarification and amplification. Do not simply be seduced by an expert sales pitch and sign up to any dating site. Do some research first and the best reference you could obtain is almost certainly from someone who has already used an online dating service.
If you know someone that has experience with a particular service, then seek them out and ask about the good, the bad and the ugly aspects. If you find their advice sound or even if you do not, you can also enter the name of the dating website followed by the word review in your favourite Internet search engine. This should return references and reviews you can read. There may also be a forum you can peruse to learn about member experiences.
Read the Fine Print
Most quality dating websites should have either a page stating terms of service or rules and regulations. Even though most people never both to read these pages, it is strongly advised that you do in this case. Your personal privacy could depend on it.
What if buried in the fine print that you neglected to read was a statement that indicated the website has the freedom to use your personal information in any manner it wished? You likely would not prefer this and this is just one possibly exaggerated example of why you should understand exactly what is being offered and how.
Follow the Dating Rules
At this point, if you have done your research and are satisfied with your selection, you can sign up. But since you have of course read all the rules and regulations, you should now follow them. One of the purposes of these is to protect you from any potential scams.
If you were to find a date match that you considered acceptable, they may suggest that the two of you connect outside of the dating service via personal email. This is unwise because at the early stage of any online relationship, you cannot be certain of their true intentions. By doing this you are eliminating any of the screening and monitoring mechanisms that the dating service has put in place.
Use Email Cautiously
Email can in some cases be either your best ally or your worst nightmare, depending on who has access to this information and how it is used or abused. You do not have to provide your primary email address to any dating service online or otherwise.
Instead, establish a generic email user id that does not include your last name and provide this. If your name was Jane Doe, use Jane1234 rather than Jane Doe. In this manner, no one can observe your last name and search for additional personal information about you.
But you do not even have to provide or use a generic email id if you exchange information using only the Internet dating site message facility or forums. In either case, exercise caution when contacting a potential dating match with email.
Provide Personal Information Selectively
Even though you may encounter an online date match that seems just right for you, restraint should be observed. Once you reveal more information about yourself, it remains out there and is almost impossible to retract.
Unless after several message exchanges you feel very certain that trust has been established, you should provide less rather than more personal information. And no, this does not mean you have to lie, but rather are simply protecting yourself.
On a final note, you should also trust your basic instincts and some people are better at this than others. If something you encounter with online dating does not feel right, then simply avoid doing it. If you are new to dating on the Internet these guidelines can make your experience enjoyable, and more importantly, safer.
By: James Kudlak
